I decided to blog everyone is right it helps keep my mind clear, plus I am sorry I didn’t mean to worry everyone I am fine and I have plenty of strength to work through the sorrow and not allow myself to be miserable.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Today was tough I had classes all day and by the time I got back I was drained between trying not to cry and explaining to people what was wrong. Yesterday I had an appointment with one of the TAs to go over the dance and he didn’t show up and then I had to go back for dance at night where I had to teach everyone the steps we learned last week because no one had shown up. People kept asking me questions and I was getting so overwhelmed and no one at dance new about Sashi, so it just appeared as if I was just being nasty. I was trying really hard not to behave that way; just everything frustrates me because I am constantly fighting the tears. However, things were easier today after my encounter with the nicest person I am yet to meet. On my way to class my shoe broke, which is no surprise considering I brake about one pair of shoes a week here. I am always tripping and the dust gets into the shoes and they fall apart. Two girls were walking by and they were staring at my barefoot until they noticed that I was carrying a broken shoe in my hand. The said they were sorry and that it was really unfortunate that there is nowhere nearby where I can get it repaired. Then one of them said she happened to have spare shoes in her bag that she brought to change into to be more comfortable. She offered them to me and gave me her number so I could return them to her that night. It was such a kind thing she did for someone she doesn’t know in the slightest. I unfortunately had two classes and a meeting with my professor, so if it weren’t for her I would have been walking around with one shoe for more than half of the day.
I then continued on to my first class where I would be given my first exam, which I was convinced I would bomb considering it was really hard for me to concentrate on studying last night. It turned out to be the most ridiculous excuse for an exam; it was in my SPSS class to see if we would get certificates. In essence he just passed everyone and they handed out our certificates. Then I had class where I sat next to a very nice girl who helped me every time I couldn’t understand the professor. When class was over I found my way to my advisor’s office and then patiently waited outside until it was about fifteen minutes before our meeting. I knocked on the door and to my utter surprise I found my professor for Africa in the Global System inside. My heart fell and I tried to quickly figure out if my advisor was actually the same person as my professor, but then I realized that I had spoken to him on the phone the day before and I would have recognized his voice if it was my professor. This is the man that has a strong distaste for America and believes that socialism is the best system. The first thing he uttered when I walked in was, “Wow, I did not expect to ever see you here” and I knew I was in for trouble. I explained to him that I was their looking for professor Asente who I had a meeting with shortly. I was attempting to read when he interrupted and asked me point blank, what do you think about American politics? Republican and Democrats aside what do I feel about the system as a whole. We talked for about an hour (which means the professor I had my meeting with was over 45 minutes late) and he was very forward in that he disagrees with everything I was saying but appreciated my opinion. He also asked why I didn’t bring up more of my points in class and I laughed and said I try not to say more than two disagreeable things in each class to not be a nuisance. He said he likes confrontation and would appreciate my comments. In the end it turned out to be a pleasant encounter although the comments the professor was making were irking me.
Later on we had dance class, which always puts me in a good mood, although the power turned out half way through so we just practiced the singing part of the exam until the lights came back, I did not let that dampen my spirits. After class I was able to concentrate long enough to get reading done and I had plans to go to bed very early. However, Sarah called at around eleven and convinced me that the best thing to put me in a good mood would be to go to our friend’s room for her birthday, where there would be cake! So we decided to go and it was a wonderful decision. It was a lot of fun and the cake was delicious even though I typically would not select cake from a variety of different dessert options. The hostel we were in is about a thirty-five minute walk from the hostel I stay at, so we were going to take a taxi back. However, one of the boys from the party offered to drive us back in his car, so it turned out beautifully, we got a free ride back to our hostel. We got back to our room before two and I was able to go straight to sleep when I got back.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Today is my busiest day, which is a good thing because it helps me to keep my mind of Sashi. I only cried once today, this morning when I went on facebook and read the comments everyone left. Thank you everyone for the support I really appreciate it. It turned out to be a great day because both of my classes ended about ten minutes early, so I was able to make it on time to all three classes. My first class, Africa in the Global System, was quite interesting. I spoke several times and towards the end of the class my professor made the comment that the United States has the ability to use their power to do good in the international system, but instead they choose to be evil. I was outraged and he continued to explain that the United States going to war through a pure act of deceit and fraud proves his point. My hand shot up and he looked at me and explained that he would let me speak next week, because he realizes I am just going to attack what he said. In the end the class was tolerable and I was able to leave with the knowledge that the professor now has an understanding of whom I am and will not hold my opinions against me.
After my next too classes I went back to my room in hopes of getting laundry done. Instead I got a phone call from one of the people we met yesterday and we decided to meet up and hangout for a little while. However, he ended up not showing up, which is extremely common here. He called and said he was sorry that he fell asleep, but would come over then, I told him it was too late and I was already getting ready for bed. So I didn’t let myself get angry I just sat with Sarah, did homework, and cleaned up my room.
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